Conflict occurs when you feel hurt (negative emotion) and you want to resolve the pain. It is no different to having a physical pain (cramp, headache, stubbing your toe) and wanting the pain to go away. Emotional pain is often attributed to someone else. For example: “You made me feel this way”. Whilst this is actually incorrect, each of us is responsible for our own feelings, it is the most common interpretation.
It is instinctive therefore, to want that someone else to take away your pain – either by an apology, or at least an acknowledgment that you have been hurt. It may have been a pain of being criticised or embarrassed or offended or put down or misrepresented or even simply misunderstood. The list of what you might feel is endless, depending on how you interpreted or appraised the event. Looking for strategies to manage your conflict?
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