Active listening is particularly helpful if the listener can reflect back to the speaker an understanding of the feelings of what the speaker was going through, as well as just the facts of the event. Sometimes the speaker expresses only the facts (for example, “When the cyclone came through, the roar of the wind was deafening, and it ripped off our roof.”). A good listener may reply, “You sound like you were pretty scared when you heard the roar of the wind, and when the roof came off, that would have been terrifying. ”
This shows that the listener was able to interpret the emotions of the events that were being described. If he got the feelings correct, even though the speaker did not name the emotions himself, he will feel validated about his experience. He may subsequently use those words (scared, terrified) when recounting the story on another occasion. In summary, active listening is about using your two ears and one mouth in those exact proportions.
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