Hello, I’m Dr. Mike Gosling.
Emotional Wealth is about perceiving, using, understanding, and managing your emotions and the emotions of others. Like arithmetic or calculus, emotional wealth habits are an exact science. They are the laws that guide the process of getting smarted with your emotions. These emotional wealth habits have been systematized into a practical code we call EASEQuadrant. Once mastered, these laws will guarantee you a place among that select group of people who behave with emotional intelligence and increase emotional and financial wealth through right behavior.
EASEQuadrant is a collaborative effort by my wife and business partner, Karen Gosling, and I that integrates theoretical aspects in the ability model of emotional intelligence (EI) and the scientific fields of cognitive-affect-behavior (CBT) with more than 30 years ‘hands on’ experience in field. Karen and I have compiled this program of emotional wealth to help you get smart with your emotions – end emotional constipation and apply your emotional intelligence to build trusting relationships; for yourself, your people, and your team.
What is emotional intelligence and cognitive-affect-behavior?
Emotional intelligence refers to an ability to recognize the meanings of emotions and their relationships and to reason and problem-solve effectively. It further involves employing emotions to enhance cognitive abilities. Emotional intelligence is the emotional knowledge and skills you are able to develop and nurture to make your relationships work.
Cognitive-affect-behavior is a discipline that can help you understand your behavior. It provides you with an opportunity to change your behaviors through actively participating in reframing cognitions that drive behavioral responses, reactions, feelings, or emotions.
Through clinical practice, workshops, and seminars, Karen and I realized that people who are strong in emotional intelligence lead happier lives. So we created The EASEQuadrant Code in 2001 with the goal to empower others to be emotionally healthy through tips, tools, information, training, and multi-media education.
Specifically, EASEQuadrant will help you:
- Explore the nature and potential of emotional health.
- Assess your emotional intelligence abilities and identify areas for development.
- Understand your mood and emotional style.
- Generate empathy to build long-term trust in business, professional, and personal relationships.
- Build emotional knowledge and self-awareness.
- Practise expressing emotion.
- Create opportunities for individual transition.
- Promote successful self and social management.
Once learned, the concepts and tools in this program will help raise your level of emotional happiness – joy, attachment, trust, compassion, forgiveness, hope and general well-being. You will feel encouraged to assist others in developing effective emotional wealth habits in the home, workplace and community.
English novelist and critic, Aldous Huxley, said, “Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” What you learn from EASEQuadrant and what you do about it is your choice. Know that what is happening in your life is also unfolding in other peoples’ lives every day – you are not alone.
For example:
- Employees are dealing with customers constantly seek to provide prompt, effective, quality service.
- Managers and supervisors skilled in active listening and giving quality feedback are assisting employees to manage change and emotional distress in the workplace.
- Professional coaches and counselors are helping angry, anxious, or depressed people cope with the struggle of everyday life and make life-changing decisions.
- An empathic parent or partner is helping to ease the pain of unresolved hurts in relationships, or bringing joy to a family member suffering social or psychological problems.
A Pathway To Better Health
Could the Emotional Wealth Habits in The EASEQuadrant Code be your pathway to better health? Good health derives from a balanced combination of the physical, mental, social and spiritual elements of life. Clean air, clean water, good nutrition, the effective elimination of waste toxins made by the body, correct breathing, exercise, meditation, relaxation, social relationships, positive thinking, a balanced emotion state, and individual spirituality – all are crucial to better health!
Our belief is that better health comes first from correct thinking; your brain controls your emotional well-being. When you have a balance between positive and negative emotions derived from your cognitions – the way you think – you experience emotional freedom, and a state of well-being; a precursor to better health. But how does one acquire emotional freedom – that state of being free to use your emotions in the best way possible?
The EASEQuadrant Code explains how to treat the cause – not the symptoms – of emotional dis-ease; the emotional constipation that is the cause of stress felt in the body, with attendant physiological effects. The code provides you a road-map to better health through the application of the eight life-changing emotion themes:
1. Express emotion using my emotional style
- Know my emotional style
- Work on my EAR-Identity
- Use the GAP – Get accurate perceptions
2. Recognize emotion in myself and others
- Recognize how I & others are feeling
- Be aware of the impact of my mood
- Be open to FeedForward/feedback
3. Match emotion to task to impact thinking
- Know how mood impacts task thinking
- Become unconsciously skilled
- Tune into my physical sensations
4. Generate emotion to problem solve
- Switch to the emotion of others
- Level, listen, validate
- Drop the “YOU” word; practise X-Y-Z
5. Know emotion to communicate awareness
- Know emotions as a resource
- Verbally navigate emotional blends
- Know how emotions combine
6. Predict emotional change
- Predict the emotional change process
- Distinguish emotional arousal
- Understand defence mechanisms
7. Manage emotion to influence others
- Deploy my emotions skillfully
- Challenge my inner voice
- Be open to what I am feeling
8. Master emotion to enjoy unlimited growth
- Work on building my relationships
- Believe you can influence emotions
- Practise E.A.S.E.
Emotional Wisdom
Imagine what it’s like to be emotionally wise – knowing how to behave when you don’t know what to do? EASEQuadrant is your journey to emotional health, wealth and wisdom. The program will help you to better understand your mood, emotional style and impact on others – and respond effectively to internal and external events in your life. When you are emotionally wise you will experience emotional freedom. You will use behavior of the person you want to be. People who behave with emotional wisdom experience improved health, emotional and financial wealth, and a life of ease!
Emotional wisdom is acquired in the drama of life, experiencing your emotions. Every minute, in every hour, of every day, there is opportunity to exercise the eight laws of emotion, whether it is in your business, professional or social relationships. For example, let’s look at leadership. Leadership is relationship. It is about building a long-term trust feeling of trust. Mastering emotional relations is you building a long-term feeling of trust in relationships exercising leadership by choosing to behave with emotional wisdom – your emotional intelligence. Learning about your emotional intelligence – that is, how emotion can inform your thinking – is critical for building emotional relations. Learning and applying thinking that gains long-term trust promotes emotional freedom in you and in those with whom you have relationships.
Ultimately, you are what you think. You create your mood and emotional style. You are responsible for your behavior. Only you can make you angry or anxious. Only you can change the way you think and thereby your behavior. You can choose to own your feelings and take responsibility for them. Or you can choose to be a victim. You can choose to master the eight laws of emotion and enjoy a life of ease. Or you can choose to ignore them. It’s over to you.
An outcome of all of the Emotional Wealth Academy programs – which are centered on The EASEQuadrant Code – is that when you choose to understand your mood and emotional style, know how feelings and emotions are generated, and change your behavior accordingly, you will be a person acting with emotional intelligence.
You will:
- be a more confident and content individual
- be able to help raise the emotional well-being of people around you
- have increased your emotional intelligence – be equipped with a better understanding of how you perceive, use, understand, and manage your emotions and the emotions of others
- be an effective communicator in whatever situation you find yourself – particularly in your personal relationships
- have increased your emotional knowledge and skills from participating in every stage of this journey.
Want to learn how to apply your emotional intelligence to create the behavior you want in your relationships every day of your life? Apply what you learn from the Emotional Wealth Secrets programs and make a difference to increasing human wellness, moving a step closer to fully realizing your life goals and dreams.
Become a member of the Emotional Wealth Academy, if you haven’t already done so, and explore the wealth of knowledge in your academy.
Talk again soon,
Dr. Mike Gosling
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References:
Mayer, JD & Salovey, P 1997, “What Is Emotional Intelligence?” in Salovey, P and Sluyter, D eds, Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications, Basic Books, New York.
Goldsmith, M & Morgan, H 2004, ‘Leadership is a contact sport’, Strategy + Business, vol. 36, September, pp. 70-79.
Sir Paul Judge in Mann, S 2003, ‘Standard-bearer’, in Professional Manager, January, p. 19.
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